When people get a
divorce, their lives usually change a lot. If you’re getting a divorce,
your life will probably look very different five years from now. When
marriages die, new relationships are born. Often, a divorce is a springing
board for a new career, a new marriage, and even a whole new life. As
such, it’s not uncommon for divorcing parents to want to move out
of the area that they lived in with their former spouses.
Are you on the fence about moving away? If you’re a non-custodial
parent thinking about moving out of the county or the state, you may want
to seriously reconsider moving until your children are at least 18. “But
why?” you might ask. Read on as we explain the argument against
moving in more detail.
Reasons to think twice about relocating:
- You may think that your relationship with your kids will remain intact,
but that’s hardly the case. Distance does affect parent-child relationships,
often for the worse.
- If you move out of state, visiting your children or flying them to your
new home can get expensive. It may sound simple, but in reality, it may
be very costly and inconvenient.
- As your children get older, they may prefer to stay home with friends than
visit you in a far off place.
- If your ex or their family believe your move is “selfish,”
they may project those feelings on your children and your kids may resent
you for leaving them.
- You will inevitably miss out on a lot. While FaceTime and Skype are great
inventions, they are just not the same as being in-person with your kids.
- Your kids may feel very hurt that you move away, leaving them to feel abandoned by you.
- Your children may smile and act like they support your decision to move,
but they may not want to hurt you and instead, they’re being very
dishonest about their feelings.
Only you know your children and how they will react to your move. No matter
the reason, whether it’s for a new job, a new marriage, or simply
a change of scenery, we urge you to pause and put a lot of thought into
relocating. All too often, when a parent moves away, it has adverse effects
on their relationship with their children. Of course, that’s not
an absolute, but something to think about before boxing up your belongings.