Help Your Children Cope After Divorce

Help Your Children Cope After Divorce

Posted By R. Gregory Colvin LLC || 15-Jan-2019

Now Is the Time to Focus on the Kids

Divorce is never easy, and the period of separation and divorce are often filled with arguments, tension and high emotions. These are bound to affect your children, no matter how hard you try to keep them out of it. Helping your kids cope during and after divorce is critical in repairing divides in the family, trust in the parental unit and the stability of their lives. Our understanding, compassionate Orlando divorce lawyer at R. Gregory Colvin, LLC can help you work through the legal aspects of divorce and can help prepare you for the changes to come. We know how hard divorce can be on children and we want to give you tools to help them transition into their new family dynamic.

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5 Ways to Help Your Children Cope

Paying attention to how your children are acting, how they communicate and how they are getting along at school can help you determine how to approach your children to discuss how the divorce is affecting them. The following tips can help to open the doors of communication:

  1. Don’t put your children in the middle. If you need to communicate with your ex about school, appointments, items that need to be returned form one house to the other or anything else- talk directly to your ex. Do not put your child in the middle because it can make the child feel like they are caught between the two of you. In addition, it should be standard practice to not bad mouth your ex to your child. Keep negative comments and thoughts to yourself or vent them to a friend, not your child because it only makes YOU look bad in the long run.
  2. Be a united front. When you get divorced, try to discuss parenting rules and chores with your ex so that you are on the same page. This way, your child will not be confused or even worse, play you against each other to get his or her way. Knowing that both parents are going to have the same rules is one way to keep stability across both family units.
  3. Reassure children that divorce is not their fault. A divorce is something that many children internalize, assuming that if they had just been “better” their parents would have stayed together. Let your children know that a divorce is an adult problem and that it is not a reflection on your love for them or their part in your marriage.
  4. Be clear on the schedule. Having a stable, predictable schedule for visitation or custody is one of the best things for your children. A visible calendar with the days marked with where they will be and who will pick them up, etc. will help in making them feel secure, knowing they will get to spend time with both parents.
  5. Talk about feelings. Let your children express their feelings of anger, sadness, resentment, fear or confusion without your judgement or input. Let them know that their feelings are valued and heard. It may help to give them avenues to work through their emotions, such as a karate class, painting class or even yoga.

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If you are going through a separation and facing divorce, it is critical to think of your children and how the changes will affect them. The time following divorce is one that you must work hard to help your children adjust, be there for them and set the disputes aside. Our Orlando divorce attorney can help you with the legal aspects of divorce, child custody and support so that you can focus on rebuilding your family in its new form. Let us help you set the business end of divorce aside so you can move forward towards a happier future.

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