If you were recently divorced and share children with your ex-spouse, you
might be dreading the holidays. After all, this time of year is often
stressful enough for families who have not endured the trauma of divorce.
However, there are ways to go about co-parenting effectively, so that
you, your ex-spouse, and your children are able to enjoy the holidays
with little to no incident. Remember, there is no such thing as a perfect
family, so focus on making this season magical rather than on the things
you wish you could change.
Below is a list of some tips that will help you effectively co-parent throughout
the holiday season:
Never make your children choose which parent they would prefer to spend
the holidays with: If you leave it up to your children to decide where they would rather
spend the holidays, you are putting them in an unfair and cruel position
since they will inevitably feel bad about having to choose between you
and their other parent. When they do answer, you might not even get the
response you are fishing for, which will also make you unhappy. Instead
of consulting the kids about their preferences, create a plan with your
co-parent or refer to your visitation schedule.
Check with your co-parent before making plans: If you and your ex-spouse do not already have a plan that outlines who
gets to spend time with the children for each holiday, now is the time
to sit down and have a talk. Coming up with a plan that reasonably addresses
the needs of both parents and the children is critical, so do this immediately
if you have yet to put one in place. It will help relieve some of the
stress from this holiday season and for many more to come.
Compromise: You might have your heart set on some very specific plans for the holidays,
but that does not mean you will get everything you want. If you planned
on taking a week off from work to go on vacation with the kids during
Christmas, but your ex-spouse wanted to spend Christmas Eve with them,
you are going to need to hash out a compromise. This might mean asking
if your ex-spouse would like to spend Thanksgiving and the New Year with
the kids in exchange for allowing you to spend Christmas Eve and Christmas
Day with them.
Learn to start new traditions: You and your children might have some very fond memories of past holidays
spent together as a family and, while a divorce certainly changes things,
it does not mean the holiday fun is over. There are probably some traditions
you will be able to keep and share with them, but chances are you are
also going to have to create some new ones. Try to get creative and come
up with some new traditions that will have just as much meaning for you
as previous traditions did.
Make time to relax: The holidays are stressful for many of us, regardless if you recently
went through a divorce or not. With so many events going on, your stress
levels are likely through the roof and life might feel incredibly overwhelming.
To avoid ultimately snapping out of frustration, take a moment for yourself
to relax and enjoy some peace and quiet. Do something you enjoy or simply
stay home and get some rest. Whatever you need to do to feel relaxed,
set aside some time to do it.
Use your support system: Unfortunately, you are going to spend one or more of the holidays on your
own, without your children and you might feel lonely. In fact, it might
be downright difficult to cope with. This is not the time to dwell on
your grief and how hard it is to be without them. You need to reach out
to your support system, whether it be close friends or family members,
instead of focusing on how miserable it is to be without your kids. Let
those who love you help distract you from some of the difficulties you
might face and you will ultimately be able to get through this.
Divorce Attorney in Orlando
If you and your spouse are getting a
divorce, now is the time to retain the skilled legal counsel you need to assist
you throughout this complex and emotional process. At R. Gregory Colvin,
LLC, our divorce attorney in Orlando is dedicated to helping clients navigate
any family law matter. We understand the difficulties associated with
such delicate issues and will ensure your interests are protected.
Start working on your case today and contact our team at
(407) 603-3460 to request a free confidential case evaluation with our knowledgeable
and compassionate attorney.